Ruthy's Blog

For each participant, a special personal 'blog' area to mark with milestones, complaints, goals achieved and many other of your personal thoughts.
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Post by ruthy » January 1st, 2009, 11:41 am

Thank you Mark , and a happy New Year to you and all .
I will just start by saying that weight has been a life time issue for me , and has give me lots of grief . I was always treated differently by some others , and made to feel like i was not human , this has made me have very low self esteem .
I have used food to make myself feel better , when i was down , and soon became a very bad habit . I am now getting help for these issues , and taking it one day at a time .
I now am also a non smoker as of just a week , so i am taking on alot but , i have been sick with my chest infection so i thought it was a god time .
I think alot of my habits started as a child , it was a difficult life as a child , and food seemed to be the way out for any problem .
Any way my weight started to peak after getting DCM , and was put on all these meds , and a lack of exercise , it wasn't long and its got way out of control .
just an example , i was out before Christmas , was sick and had to go to ER , the doctor was so rude , i asked for something for my sugar i had been in ER for 8 hrs , and my sugar was going down low , he answered , you look like you could go a couple weeks with out something to eat , i was in total shock , but this is just what people can be like , and it has damaged me , big time . Any way i am blabbering on here hope i am making sense to some of you , and its nice to have a place to come and not be judged , and that others have been there and understand . I hope that each and everyone one of us can help each other out , in some small way . All the best to you all , with much love and understanding ~ Love~ Ruthy

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Post by Jean » January 2nd, 2009, 4:00 am

Dear Ruthy,

I only want to say I understand. I'm hear to listen to bounce ideas off of and to cheer you on and hey girl giving up the smoking I am so proud of you and a week is a great achievement. Keep it up girl!

Love, Jean

Cardiomyothapy,LBBB, CHF, Diabetes
Cognis CRT-D implanted May 11,2010


Post by judimel » January 2nd, 2009, 10:27 am

People can be so mean and uncaring. I am so sorry. Know one should have to deal with these inhumanities. Bless your heart and all those who have dealt with this too.

But you do seem to be strong of character! Look, you've already stopped smoking for a week! Congratulations. I know this time you will be successful! Just take it one day at a time. When the urge hits I just tell myself "I don't smoke anymore", take a deep breath, have a glass of water and by that time the urge seems to go away. The time between urges gets longer and longer. I quit after my arrests on 6-22. I'm 51 soon to be 52 the end of the month and smoked about 34 years. I've tried to quit too many times to count. But at least I kept trying, because now I feel like I've really kicked it. I know you will too!!

Good luck, I'll be praying for you!

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Post by DonnaB » January 2nd, 2009, 12:51 pm

Ruthy what you wrote deeply touched my heart for many reasons.until 5 years ago I weighed 259 pounds and i am only 5 foot 2.I lost down to 117 which is what I weigh now through much hard work on myself as well as my thinking.It took being in therapy for me to address my lifelong pattern of emotional eating as a way of dealing with tons of emotional pain.

In high school I was called 2 ton Bertha and my youngest brother once took a large blue piggy bank that i had,put a collar and leash on it,and drug it around in the living run calling it by my name.I have many stories I could relate but i won't go into it all but i wanted you to know i so understand your pain and i identify with you.

Before losing my weight 5 years ago I made so many attempts at losing and would lose good amounts only to gain it back and more.I have been on every fad diet,starvation diet possible,etc and have been in many weightloss programs but for me until I addressed the emotional issues and the emotional eating and learned new ways to cope it just didn't work for me.

I am angered and saddened that you went through so much pain in your hospital experience.The doc obviously is unaware of the importance of a bedside manner aside from medical skills.

When I was losing weight and was just starting to exercise by walking I had a car full of teenagers honk at me and make oinking squealing pig noises at me.I was so proud of myself at the time for mustering up the courage and the energy to walk and I remember feeling so ashamed when they did what they did.I almost ran when i went back home with tears streaming down my face but then i thought it is them that were rude and sick and i was not going to let the bleep bleeps stop my mission.

Happy New year sweet Ruthy and please know I am cheering you and everyone else on.


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Post by Aamos » January 7th, 2009, 3:05 pm

Ruthy, I had a dear colleague who was morbidly obese and she truly opened my eyes to the horrible meanness she encountered all to frequently. Like Donna, she was overweight due to a severe emotional trauma. She was also a very bright, funny, incredibly sensitive woman. When my mom died, she was one of my most important mainstays, having lost her mom not the much earlier. I am so sorry (and angry!) over that doctor's remark, and for all the other cr*p (on another board where I post, we just write "carp.").

Hey, on the not smoking, HooRay for you, girl! You probably know about these counters, but in case not, you can put a counter on your computer that calculates the time and money and other good things you have since your quit date.

Here's an example of one. And it's free! And here's another one:

Amy/Aamos--wife of DanL, who had SCA 6/1/08; 4x bypass 6/5/08 and Guidant Vitality dual chamber ICD 11/7/08

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