am I dead yet? ...

Posts from Jan. 1, 2018 to the present. Plus important announcements. (ICD warning sounds)

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ROBO Pop
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by ROBO Pop » July 12th, 2019, 11:48 am

The angina attacks are coming fast with a previously unexperienced fury...hey I guess that would be fast and furious. Anyway the pain eminates from the left upper chamber and radiates downward leaving me gasping barely able to speak or move as it grasps me and rips at my heart. I'm quite certain I'm feeling that failing piece of crap Mitral valve sticking and causing backup of my sewage system I call a heart.

My wife has become quite practiced at reading the expression on my face and dumping Nitroglycerin into my upper orface. Typically takes at least 2 rounds to get my heart to settle down to a reasonable pain threshold.

I'm not moving about all that much though I do try to delude myself into thinking repositioning my derriere on the toilet seat is exercise. I was proud that I attacked my painting again the other day, though in retrospect I only accomplished another layer of paint over the sky and rocks. Maybe I'm worried that finishing will be the finish

On top of it all, we have some personal issues that we are trying to sort out the best solution, but for the life of me I can't get a grip on it. Just doesn't seem to be a satisfactory answer and I'm stressed like never before.
Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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Colin Pearson
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by Colin Pearson » July 12th, 2019, 1:10 pm

As always, thank you for sharing Robo.

And as always, I've not much to say other than that you are doing this properly with extreme courage and dignity.

Keep on posting. consolsmile

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mykidsmom
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by mykidsmom » July 12th, 2019, 1:36 pm

COLIN.. us irish ladies would never do that.....not even in the bathrooms in heaven lol
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

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ROBO Pop
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by ROBO Pop » July 12th, 2019, 3:17 pm

20190712_131325.jpg
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Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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mrag
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by mrag » July 12th, 2019, 4:02 pm

Damn Robo, that is a really nice paint by number painting. You get that on Amazon?
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge" S Hawking

Stella Blue
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by Stella Blue » July 13th, 2019, 2:50 am

It's beautiful. I'm really sorry that life is so trying for you these days, but I think you'd better keep going at least until you've added the guy (gal?) he's shooting at. You don't want to go down as a horse assassin.

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ROBO Pop
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by ROBO Pop » July 14th, 2019, 11:08 am

mrag wrote:
July 12th, 2019, 4:02 pm
Damn Robo, that is a really nice paint by number painting. You get that on Amazon?
As always, I cannot find adequate words to express how I feel about your continued support of me and the arts...mainly because the words that come to mind are forbidden here.

I tackled the paintong again yesterday and once more haven't done anything just recovered the paint already there. Looks a little different?
20150628_102627.jpg
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Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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mrag
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by mrag » July 14th, 2019, 3:24 pm

You changed the cowboy's hat a little. RIght?
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge" S Hawking

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Colin Pearson
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by Colin Pearson » July 15th, 2019, 7:50 am

Robo,

When you have finished those pictures, here is an idea for a modern Western, galloping horses an' all....

Image

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mykidsmom
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by mykidsmom » July 16th, 2019, 7:46 am

is that a warning for windmill cancer??????? them things are absolutely dangerous



beautiful paintings robo...
I think.....Therefore I am.!!!!!

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TruckerRon
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by TruckerRon » July 16th, 2019, 12:00 pm

mykidsmom wrote:
July 16th, 2019, 7:46 am
is that a warning for windmill cancer??????? them things are absolutely dangerous



beautiful paintings robo...
The paintings ARE beautiful... And I think the clip of the windmill is a great example of why you should periodically get your brakes checked! Windmills are designed to apply their brakes and keep the RPMs down during high winds, but that one failed. Even as the substation in the ConEd system failed to manage itself when a major surge happened...

https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/15/us/new-y ... feedburner
TruckerRon -- Received Minion I on 17 Sep 2009, Minion II on 26 Jan 2015

Non-ischemic cardiomyopathy
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No shocks yet...
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ROBO Pop
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by ROBO Pop » July 18th, 2019, 1:00 pm

Well clearly I'm not dead yet.

When I awoke this morning, my fingers we locked in a claw and swollen so badly my wedding and anniversary rings were cutting off circulation. I had to pry my fingers open, and you think open heart surgery is painful, so that I could lubricate my fingers and extricate them before they fell off.

My numbers on the CPAP aren't encouraging either, AHI 28 and periodic breathing 42%. How can I stop breathing that much and still be alive? Hmmm have to ask about that.

Gaining weight but not eating. They told be to watch for unexpected weight loss or gain. Ok, so I watched and found, now whadda I do?

At least my breathing had improved to some degree, that is until the storms started threatening and humidity rose. Once again I gasp from the time I get up, spewing the sludge that builds up in my lungs periodically. Rather unpleasant would be a good description...if it weren't so horrendous.

And lets us don't forget the headaches that immobilize you when they strike for good measure. This morning right before one struck, everything around me started moving as if to get away in case I'm contagious. Thats a pleasant experience as many will attest. Yhen yhe wrath as the back of my head felt like it was being sqeezed between thunder thighs. Hey gotta make this enticing for those who choose to follow.

And it ain't even noon. Life is good.
Broken Heart
Nobody has ever survived life, but I'm trying...
My story and sticking to it
http://www.icdsupportgroup.org/board/vi ... 97&p=91375

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Colin Pearson
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by Colin Pearson » July 18th, 2019, 4:04 pm

ROBO Pop wrote:
July 18th, 2019, 1:00 pm
Well clearly I'm not dead yet.
Glad to hear it but not about the suffering.

consolsmile

Have you been well enough to pick up the paint brush?

Please keep on posting and let us know how things are. We are all thinking about, and are with you wavhi

Stella Blue
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by Stella Blue » July 18th, 2019, 9:02 pm

Makes sense the weather would exacerbate your situation. I hope you get a break from the heat and humidity soon - it's really no fair having to deal with high humidity in Arizona. Here in Tokyo, we've been in the rainy season for almost two months now (they call it the "plum rain" season, but that doesn't make it any better. It started off cold and damp and has now accelerated into really hot and muggy. There are all sorts of ways people deal with this - beer gardens, fireworks and ghost stories, all of which are supposed to cool you off - but I find the low air pressure that accompanies all of this very hard to deal with. Oh, well, soon it will be over and we can begin looking forward to typhoon season.

Please take care of yourself.

InSync
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Re: am I dead yet? ...

Post by InSync » July 19th, 2019, 9:18 pm

Uggggg. All of it. What's up with the hands and headaches?

I hope your weather improves!

Keep painting.
Dilated Cardiomyopathy, LBBB, CHF
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St. Jude CRT-D 7/19
The beat goes on.....

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